Deal With Inner Hurt

Your body may be in one place but you are where your mind is. You can be 70 years old but if you are 40 in your mind, you will live like a 40 year old, not a 70 year old. The same is true if you have been abandoned, raped, cheated on, divorced, your mind tells you I am a failure as a husband or wife. In the case of sexual abuse or rape, your mind tells you – you are dirty. Those thoughts you carry with you throughout your life. So when you meet someone new and after time the same problems pop up, you convince yourself of things that are not true.

When people bring their thoughts, fears, failures and emotions from your past into a new place, a new job, a new relationship you can cause the new to be like your past. Another words, if you do not learn from history, history is bound to repeat itself. If you do not learn from your experiences you are bound to repeat them. So let us learn from God so we do not repeat the same mistakes and so we can heal and help others.

When the same “type” of problem seems to happen over and over again, to you, it is not that the problem happens over and over but you are carrying the problem with you. You have to deal with the problem. 

Someone who was sexually abused as a child or raped as a youngster has a hard time with relationships. Often they have been married and divorced several times, had relationships out of marriage and find committed relationships difficult. The question is, why?

Is it their portion in life? No. Was that in God’s plan for them? No. Did God make the abuse or rape happen to them? No. And what happens is the person grows up carrying the hurt, deep hurt in their soul (mind, will and emotions) with them through their life. They bury the pain and hurt inside them and that hurt and pain stays in them and alters all their relationships.

When a husband or wife is unfaithful, that inner hurt comes back. As many of my regular readers know, my father left my mother for many women. I watched my mother, who was sexually abused as a child, by her father, grow to believe all men were sex perverts. Although my mother remarried later in her life, it was not until she was 80 years old when, through Jesus Christ, she could forgive her father.

Was my mother a failure as a wife and mother? No. Did God make my mother go through that hurt? No. God does not make bad things happen, he walks us through the bad things, holding our hand. So my mom carried the hurt with her for years.

Until you deal with the problem, the hurt and pain inside you, you can not get free. People who have been sexually abused or raped, especially as a child, loose trust. Someone they trusted hurt them. Someone older and bigger than them, who they trusted as a grown up or family member, hurt them and hurt them deeply.

Often you see a change in someone’s actions or behaviour after they were abused or raped. As the person grows up, it is hard for them to trust people. No matter who the person is, they can not fully trust them. Jesus understood this when he helped Mary Madeline.

Regardless of where you are physically in your body, if your mind is in a state of anger, hurt, betrayal and you don’t trust people, you carry those emotions into all your relationships. But we are told by God to walk in the spirit not the flesh and not our mind. So when you are born again, God wipes the slate clean and you start afresh.
2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

It does not matter if it is a failed business, sexual abuse, rape, financial loss, mortgage foreclosure, abortion, abandoned, or anything, you have to take it to God and leave it with Jesus at the cross. Then learn from your mistakes so you don’t repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Remember, you are not what your mind says you are and you are not your body, you are spirit. So live in the spirit.
Until next time.

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