I asked someone the other day, what causes a person who, after 25 years, decides to leave their spouse, leave their children and grandchildren, sell their house and move 1000s of miles away? When we think about issues like this we can also ask, why does a father or mother abandon their children, or why do they walk out and never come back? What causes a child to run away from home? Why would a child move thousands of miles away from everything he knew? What causes a child, raised with the Lord and in church to walk away from God and the church?
Yes, we could say these people are selfish but the word selfish is a conclusion we come to based upon a person’s actions. Saying they are selfish is not the reason they act in what we would call irrational. Selfish is the conclusion we come to because of their actions. And I am not talking about an unbeliever who gets saved and leaves, I am talking about a believer or so called believer who acts irrational.
Yes, in some cases, people are pushed to extreme measures. But really, the reason people appear to act irrational is because of their decision making. Another words, life has dealt them certain things where they can no longer deal with the “issue (s)” so they decide to handle “things”. Sometimes they decide the solution and it appears irrational. Need an example?
Okay, a scripture example from old that teaches a truth principle applicable today. Genesis 15. Abram asks God what will God give him seeing he goes childless. Abram’s focus was on having an heir. But God did not answer only the heir question, God answered Abram by telling Abram everything he is going to give Abram.
Verse 4 – a son from your own body
Verse 5 – look at the stars, so shall your seed be.
Verse – 13,14 – God tells Abram of the bondage of his people in Egypt for 400 years.
Verse 15 – you shall die in peace.
Verse 18 – 21 – the physical land and boundaries God would give Abram.
These promises did not all happen over night. There was a time frame. And as Romans 4 tells us, Abraham never doubted God or his promises.
But we know as time went on, Sarai convinced Abram to take Hagar, Sarai’s bondwoman, to have a baby. We know that baby was named Ishmael as Genesis 16 tells us. So was the birth of Ishmael part of God’s plan or destiny for Abram? No. And what Sarai and Abram did in having Hagar give birth to Ishmael we could say was “irrational”.
We know as time passed and Ishmael was about 13 years old that God’s timing for the promised son between Sarai and Abram was conceived. Genesis 16 explains this and how Sarai wanted to cast out Hagar and Ishmael.
You see, Sarai manipulated the situation and birthed something that got out of control. How do we know this?
Genesis 16:4-6 KJV “And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.
 And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the Lord judge between me and thee.
 But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face.”
There was conflict in their house. So we see Sarai’s mistake laughs at the destiny. God has a destiny for Sarai and Abram and he told Abram the destiny back in Genesis 15. But when Sarai manipulated the situation by bringing Hagar into the picture, it caused conflict in their house. And that happens to us.
Instead of being patient and asking God to strengthen us and help us through the “waiting” period, we often manipulate our situation. And when we manipulate our situation we make “irrational” decisions.
Abraham knew who Hagar was but never was “tied” to Hagar (someone not involved with his destiny) until the irrational decision. And when Hagar and Ishmael were to be cast out, we see it bothered Abraham. Why? Because now Abraham was tied to Ishmael and Hagar in his mind and emotions. He was tied to them in his soul. And yet, they had nothing to do with Abraham’s destiny.
Often, when we get impatient, we make irrational decisions instead of praying and asking God to strengthen us and help us. And many times, if it involves separation or divorce, we find women remarry and bring all the emotions and anger they have from their previous spouse and dump those emotions and anger on to their new spouse. And that is why 80% of second marriages fail.
And the sad thing, children learn to do the same thing and the cycle repeats until someone has the courage to ask God to help them. It is not just marriage I am talking about. You take a child who has been sexually abused and they carry the hurt and pain with them in to relationships. The child grows up with an anger towards men, all men ( or women). They base that anger on their experience.
And it is also the hurt and pain we suffer, is not a part of our destiny. But God will use that hurt and pain for good. Look at Joseph.
The solution? We need to ask God to forgive us and heal us from the hurt and pain and from our manipulating things in our life and help us achieve our God given destiny. The time frame from when God promises you something, until the time it comes to fruition is the most critical time. You have to be on guard and be praying and leaning on God. Don’t make irrational decisions because those irrational decisions might create soul ties that have nothing to do with your destiny. Those ties may later hinder you or come back against you. Look at thousands of years of conflict between the sons of Ishmael and the sons of Isaac. Until next time.